


dishes a very bad joke

by TheOtherBookwormFanperson



Series: Domestic Trans Gorillaz Babey!! [1]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Also Some Slurs In The Second One, BUT VERY VAGUE, Del (Gorillaz) - Mentioned, Dishwashing, Domestic, Everyone is Trans, Family, Gen, Homophobic Language, Idk fam, Phase One (Gorillaz), Siblings, Teen Because Some Cursing And Implied Sex, so uhhh, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 09:50:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOtherBookwormFanperson/pseuds/TheOtherBookwormFanperson
Summary: Just that Gude Family Bonding over menial chores.





	1. 1 - Russel And Del Are... Busy

**Author's Note:**

> Set during Phase 1, year 2001. 2-D and Noodle have a chat over dishes.
> 
> This chapter took 12 tabs of background Google searches, including 7 about how West Sussex accents sound and about 3 different pages on the Gorillaz wiki. :/

“... so we’re just gonna watch some TV and stuff, goodnight!” Russel says, a little bit in a rush as he follows Del the ghost up the stairs. 2-D registers the involuntary grin that’s on Russel’s face a few seconds after Murdoc groans and thunks his beer can on the table.

“Fuckin’ lovebirds. You’d think, what with one being dead, they wouldn’t be so on each other, but here we fuckin’ are.” Murdoc rolls his eyes when he says the L-word, firmly ignoring the new kid’s insistent glancing between him and the jar on the side table labelled “SWEAR JAR”. He stretches, popping his back half a dozen times. 2-D’s eyes, as always, are drawn to his chest. He knows it’s irrational, but he still envies him for having had top surgery already. It makes sense that he has, because he’s in his mid-30s and has made several deals with the Devil, allegedly. But despite knowing he’s like, 12 years younger, he can’t help but feel he’s behind in transition.

And while he’s been thinking his thoughts and doing his algebra, the man in question has already left the door swinging behind him as he heads to the garage “to have some alone time, if y’know what I’m sayin’.”

2-D’s watch alarm goes off, reminding him to take his evening meds. He glances at the kid who arrived last year and figures he should set a good example or something, so he actually gets up and fills a glass with tap water to take his pills instead of dry-swallowing them.

As he’s in the kitchen, his eyes land on the sink and he sinks down a little with a sigh. He gets Russel likes Del, and that they’re important to him, but really. The drummer has just landed him and the kid with more dishes than he can count in the dim light.

“Uh… Noodle,” he says. The kid stops walking the new, albeit Dollar Store, chopsticks across the table and looks up.

“Yeah?”

He puts the glass down in the sink, wincing at the clatter, and goes over to the table, squatting down to look in the kid’s eyes while he explains.

“So… Russel, y’know him, ‘e’s the guy as just gone upstairs with Del? Well, uh, he’s upstairs, and busy, and Murdoc, y’know, the other guy? No shirt? He’s gone to… bed, an’ such, so we’re d’only ones as can do the plates tonight. So we’ve got to do the plates. Alright?”

Noodle’s dark eyes stare at him for a second. After a pause, the response he gets is “ _Hai_!”

So he pulls out a stool from under the sink, and Noodle climbs on top and then sits up on the counter to watch him do the dishes.

He flicks the lights on and off a few times, and then they buzz, brightening enough for him to make out the tremulous structure in the sink.

First he gingerly picks up his water glass and rinses it, setting it on the counter near Noodle. Then he gets the silverware that’s safe to move out of his way, and from there it’s a fairly easy, if time-consuming, task to clean each dish.

After he’s dug out a visible chunk from the pile and the chore looks less futile, Noodle speaks.

“Russ-el and Del… why not, _nanka_...” and there follows a gesture at the dishes.

“Why aren’ they helping?” 2-D feels his face freeze up while he thinks about his response. “Uh…. Well, they’re. Busy. They’re very good friends, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, righ’ now, they want to do… y’know, very-good-friend things. Like spend time wi’ each other.”

“But-!” And Noodle points at the dishes again.

“Yeah. Sometimes, y’ gotta do things as others should be doing, cos in y’r place they’d do the same for you. Make sense, Noodle?”

Noodle’s head cocks to the side, making sense of the words. “Yeah.”

“A’s good.” 2-D’s watch beeps again, this time to remind him that he’s had his binder on for 9 hours. There were still dishes to do, though, so he figures he’ll be alright a while longer.

There are several pans that are near bigger than Noodle, and they take up most of the space on the counter. Another big pot is still in the sink, and he’s having a hard time scrubbing at the stew residue on it from a halal lamb recipe Russel had found online.

Noodle hops down from the counter and moves the stool closer to the sink, and 2-D makes room so the kid can stand next to him. While he scrubs, Noodle collects the silverware that’s fallen to the bottom of the sink and puts them in a large mug, filling it with hot water. Noodle tries to reach for the soap to add to it, but it’s on the other side of the sink, and too far for the poor kid’s 10-year-old arms to reach.

2-D, taking a brief rest from scrubbing the pot, notices and grabs the soap, letting Noodle put one carefully-measured pump of soap into the mug. Then he returns to scrubbing furiously at the stew pot, being careful not to splash Noodle.

Finally, the remnants of stew are washed down the drain, and he joins Noodle in drying the dishes and putting them away. They work out a system wherein the guitarist dries them as much as possible before handing them to 2-D, who’s waiting with a towel to wipe them down one more time before putting them away in the high cabinets where Noodle couldn’t reach.

It’s late by the time they finish and Noodle couldn’t stop yawning every few minutes, so the two of them dry off their hands and 2-D turns out the lights before putting Noodle to bed. He wants to give in to the kid’s request for a bedtime story, but the yawning had spread to him too now and besides, he explained, “I’m not good to read stories. Th’ lights’d have to be too bright to let you sleep, and we don’ want that! Sorry, Noodle.”

But he does tuck Noodle in and leave a kiss on the kid’s forehead, because jeez, they’re a kid still! It continues to astonish him how that somehow happened. There’s a kid living with them now, and has been for a year. He’s a little surprised Murdoc hasn’t accidentally stepped on Noodle yet, honestly. He’s still mulling over all the oddities of this situation when he peels off his binder and goes to bed for a much-needed rest.


	2. 2 - Murdoc Is Murdoc

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *spins menial chores wheel* today we are doing Unpacking!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Phase 1, early 2002. Noodle is confused about the news while they settle into a new hotel.  
> i wrote this all in one take and it took another 7 tabs of research!! fun times :)))

Noodle wakes up the moment someone says her name, but stubbornly stays in her warm pocket of the mattress on the floor of their van.

Last night was their last night in Canada, and their first actual show since fall, so she was still full of energy after they finished.

She'd worked out some of it by packing, racing Russel to see who could get packed faster (he won, but she was absolutely sure it was only because Murdoc kept sneaking already-packed clothes back onto the pile on the bed, so she had to keep repacking them). Even the frustrating race didn't tire her out enough, though, and she was sat in the passenger seat for hours, bouncing her leg and talking excitedly about the show.

Eventually, Murdoc ground out his cigarette into the ashtray on the dashboard and shooed her into the back so she'd quiet down. She did a little spin once she was in the back, almost tripping and kneeing 2-D in the face before she caught herself. She took a deep breath, appreciating the lack of smoke in this area, and then carefully picked her way onto the mattress on the floor, curling up with her back to the wall.

She still took for _ever_ to get to sleep, though! It felt like an eternity of counting before she finally went to sleep, so since she went to all of that effort,  _yes, Russel, gonna sleep more!_

But Murdoc pulls the blanket off of her, making her shriek with the sudden cold, and reluctantly she has to open her eyes to death-glare him.

They pick up their suitcases and hop out of the van. Murdoc leads the way to the lobby, which turns out to be two buildings in and the opposite direction that he ends up leading them.

The sun is also illegally bright. 2-D mumbles something about his head in agreement when she complains about it to him, and when they turn the corner she swaps places with him so he gets the shade.

Finally Murdoc finds the lobby, rolling his eyes when Russel points out that it was on the map by the parking lot. They check in, navigate the corridors, and find their room.

"Well," Murdoc says as the door unlocks, "Home sweet home."

Chicago, Noodle decides when she looks around, sucks.

Canada had had windows, and snow, and moose, and air fresheners by the door. This Chicago hotel has a dirt-caked skylight, and a really bright sun, and flies by the lights, and a tiny closet.

Murdoc seems at home, though, swinging his suitcase onto a bed and immediately scouring the minifridge. 2-D drops his suitcase at the foot of the bed before flopping face-first onto it, his shoulder narrowly avoiding Murdoc's suitcase on the way down. Russel sets down his suitcase on the other bed, opening it and staring dejectedly at the contents.

"What's up?" Noodle asks, because his face doesn't look very happy.

He turns to look at her. "Last night felt like forever, huh? I'm gonna... unpack later, I guess." Then he disappears into the bathroom.

She drags her suitcase onto the bed and sits at the edge of it for a few minutes.

Murdoc finishes his beer and sets it on the floor by his side of the bed.

Eventually 2-D sits up and pulls up his suitcase to unpack. He finds a CD player he forgot he had and plays the disc in it, which turns out to be Morning Glory? apparently. He's the only one who knows any of the words, though.

Russel texts his cousin's friend to ask about good delivery or something and ends up ordering pizza. It has chicken on it, which isn't something Noodle has had on pizza before. It's a weird mix of textures, but it's okay.

They don't have plates, so they eat out of the box with napkins. It's kind of nice, having a break. Today's a rest day, because there's another show tomorrow and they had a long night of travel.

Russel looks at his suitcase and sighs dramatically.

He finally starts to pull things out and set them into drawers.

2-D folds up the remains of the pizza into the fridge and wanders outside, promising to get back in a couple of hours.

Murdoc gets another beer, and Noodle unpacks just enough to retrieve a spiral notebook and a pencil.

She writes down the date and starts drawing randomly. Flowers, hands, spirals, the trigger of a gun, half a face, a CD...

She leans forward to try and perfect the angle of a switchblade, but keeps screwing up the curved edge and has to redraw it again.

"Ugh...."

Art sucks. This sucks. She's bored. Knives are weird. She closes the notebook with a dramatic smack, putting her head down and groaning loudly.

"Well, if you're that bored, luv, you could unpack your shi- fuck, I mean stuff, oh damn it," Murdoc tells her, taking another swig from his beer like it'll cover up what he said.

Russel cuts a pointed look at him and goes outside to call the agency or something.

Noodle rolls her eyes but gets up. She dumps out her suitcase on the bed, sorting out the clothes from the not-clothes first.

A few minutes of boring folding pass, and she has nothing to do but think about stuff.

Yesterday was a rush. It took a couple of songs before she got back into the swing of things and really started having fun with the performance instead of anxiously focusing on remembering all the chords. She grinned remembering it.

After the show was kind of a blur. There was someone yelling, which was normal, but she had been kept away from seeing them by 2-D pulling her along. Russel was walking a little behind her... Where had Murdoc been again?

It was weird that she didn't remember it. Usually she remembered a lot of things.

Murdoc lazily turns on the TV, flicking through news channels.

Someone says something familiar.

One of the channels is talking about them.

"-rillaz bassist, a Mur-" and the channel changes.

She stacks another shirt and picks out some pants to fold next.

The channels cycle through.

"-llegedly called Niccals a 'tra-'" The channels keep cycling.

She looks up at her bandmate, who doesn't seem very invested in anything he's seeing.

"-throwing a bottle at the man, shouting some things I can't repeat here-"

With that he does let out a small, unimpressed chuckle.

"What happened last night, Murdoc?" she asks. He looks over at her, surprised, and turns off the TV.

"Not much."

"It's on the news, though," she presses.

He shrugs. "Some bastard said some stupid shi- stuff, I got 'im back. Like I said."

"What stuff?" she asks. She remembers something now. "Why did he call you a... 'trann-"

"Alright, alright," he interrupts. "You want the story? You got the story. Don't tell Russ, though."

She nods and hops up on the bed, sitting criss-cross.

"So, las' night we finished the show, yeah?" he begins. "This bastard threw his smoke at us 'n yelled some things. Don't remember exactly, but it was sum'n along the lines of  _hey you tra-_ well, you know- and then something about pretending to have imaginary dicks, something about our collective mothers, called us faggots  _and_ dykes in the same breath somehow. So, I did what anyone would've liked to have done and threw a bottle at him. Was aiming to miss, but apparently I caught his shoulder."

"Nice!" Noodle says.

He grins. "Heh, yeah. So I throw it, and I go something like,  _real enough for your dad last night!_ , and Russel's like,  _Hey, don't get involved, we've got Chicago to get to by morning,_ blah blah blah. Well, it was our first show all year, and I figured fuck that. I made to punch him before the fuckin' security guys got there."

It's a good story, for Murdoc. No drugs or people dying, although she doesn't know some of the words. "What's those words mean, though?"

"Huh? Oh, right." He looks at the ceiling for a moment. "Sometimes girls don't like boys and like other girls instead. Some people don't like that, cuz it's  _against nature_ or some shit, and they call 'em dykes to be rude. Some boys like boys instead of girls, and the people who don't like girls who like girls don't like that either and they call that a fag. Uh, normally they're called gay. The girls are lesbians."

"Les-bi-ans?" She's gonna forget how to pronounce it in about half an hour, probably.

"Yep, just like that."

"What about the other word?"

"Oh." He looks at the ceiling again. "A tranny is a guy who doctors think is a girl but that's just their body, not what they are. Y'know? And it can also be a girl who looks like a guy."

"Oh. Why'd he call us that?" She looks like herself. Sometimes she wonders when she's going to "hit" puberty, as she heard people say, and look like the other girls she sees on the street or on TV, but she's only, like, 11 still. And 2-D and Russ and Murdoc don't look like her, and they all have shorter hair. 2-D and Russel walk differently than her a lot of the time, with all their weight on one leg at a time, but Murdoc only walks like that when he's very tired or surprised. But that's not what he's really talking about.

"Cuz, y'know." He shifts uncomfortably on the bed. "My dad still thinks I'm a girl. That I'll get over this, this phase or whatever, and go back to being his daughter."

He stands up, starts pacing, and stops after only a few rounds of the small room.

"You mean you're actually a girl? Or actually a guy?" She's not sure from his kind-of confusing explanation.

"I'm a guy, kid." He takes a deep breath, opening his suitcase for lack of anything else to do. "Just, well, when I was a kid and didn't know better, people thought I was a girl."

"Oh."

They fold laundry in silence for a minute.

"He said it like... like lots, though." She can't remember the word. "Like for more than one?"

"Yeah. I feel like I shouldn't tell you everything about the others, but it's whatever. We're all trans, like that."

She thinks about that while she puts away her stack of shirts in the drawers.

"So that's why D talks weird sometimes?"

"I guess, kid," he says with a nonchalant shrug.

She finishes putting away her clothes.

"Aren't you, too, though?" he asks, breaking the brief silence.

"Huh?"

"I mean, you like girl clothes, and a lot of people would think you look like a boy or whatever."

That's weird, and she says so. "I'm a girl."

"I know, kid," he says gruffly. "We know. Hey, don't tell Russel that I said all those bad words, okay?"

"You said what?" Russel asks as he comes back in.

"Nothing, Russ!" Murdoc exclaims, all doe-eyes and innocent blinking. It looks a little weird because he hasn't washed his hair since probably London, but at least Russel doesn't ask more.

Noodle takes longer to shower that evening than normal. She looks at her reflection in the mirror for a while.

Okay, so maybe she does feel a little off sometimes when she gets dressed in the mornings. But it's no big deal, duh. She's got her bandmates, and apparently they all feel kind of like that too. So that's good.

And then she showers and dries off and gets dressed and goes to sleep, 2-D snoring from behind Russel next to her. Tonight, she sleeps easier than this morning. It's not all that different but she does feel better, for some reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey what's your favorite pet breed it's for science, also who do you guys want to see more of next?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment/kudos if you enjoyed and would like to see more!!


End file.
